Confidence is a really complicated little thing. For some people, this is maybe the biggest problem to face. A sense of inferiority or lack of confidence is a very disturbing attitude. With this attitude, you will lose a lot of chances such as career, business, relationship and so forth.
If you are shy, quiet, and not confident. No wonder, you may often remain silent in group discussions. When doing a presentation, your body trembled, your face tense, your voice stuttered, and my mind was often blank. In romance life, you may be so shy to talk to a girl/boy.
If at this moment you are one of them, then you should get rid of it. Because it will inhibit your life to be a better person than you are now. Here are the ten steps on how to be confident.
1. Always pray before starting something
If you are a religious person who believes in God, then praying before starting something is able to boost your confidence and make you feel safe. Your supplication of remembering the almighty God and your hope for his protection for every step you make will make you feel better, safe and warm.
2. Improve your appearance
Mostly, unconfident is caused by the appearance of someone itself. Therefore, to build your confidence, improve your appearance. For example, trim your hair if you are about to meet someone important for you. Use jelly, or pomade to make your hair look trim and stylish. If needed, go to the salon or barber shop to shave or straighten your hair.
Not only about your hair, you need to make everyone around you feel comfortable by using deodorant or perfume to eliminate odor in your body. In addition, you may also need to use a neat dress and wear a belt to your pants in order to avoid your pants sag.
3. Stop Negative Thinking
Lack of confidence can be caused by your own negative thinking. Some example of negative thinking might be like the example below:
- Feeling worthless
- Fear of rejection
- Afraid of wrong on what we will do
- Fear of being underestimated by others
- Feel yourself lower than others
- Feelings will be laughed at by others
To solve the problems above, you have to stop negative thinking because you will be trapped in confidence crisis. The simple way is by turning negative thinking into positive thinking or something you desire such as examples below:
- I am a precious person because every human being is created equal by God
- Rejection is a natural thing so I have to keep trying it
- Mistake is a sign of people learning
- Other people will appreciate me because I respect them too
- Making others laugh is better than making other people sad
4. Identify one greatness within yourself
Competition is important to improve your quality. In order to be confident in facing the competition, you should know what your strengths are compared to your competitors.
Therefore, from now on identifying one of your key strengths so you can focus and become an expert in its field. By becoming an expert in its field, you will be confident and no longer afraid of your competitors.
For example, if you are now struggling in promoting your product, determine one of your strengths. Just one is enough. It can be the cheapest price, the smart product, or the most advanced product.
5. Reading high-quality books
The book is the source of knowledge. Even though in nowadays many of free information out there spread on the internet, but still, books have many of benefits that free information doesn’t have. By reading high-quality books, your knowledge will increase, your ability will be upgraded and many other positive things you will have on reading high-quality books.
6. Greet new people
It is not a secret anymore if you are being a newly known people is a very uncomfortable situation. The solution is giving them the greeting first, then they will greet you back and the situation will much better for everyone around you.
By greeting first, you will give the positive first impression for anyone you just know as well as melt the situation. However, the other important things are you will get a new friend and not feel alone and isolated anymore.
7. Do the best preparation as possible
Have you afraid of facing a presentation? Or maybe stress in facing job interview? If you are not prepare anything well, then any problem you face will be a nightmare for you. Anything that performs without a good preparation will end with a failure.
Do you think what is the success key of a magician who performs a hard magic tricks in the front of many people? Yes, of course, the answer is preparation such as practice, gain skills and any of things that can help to make it perfect. Always remember that practice makes perfect.
8. Apply the “if-then” technique
It’s simple but it’s important and helpful. The “if-then” technique is very effective, you know why? Because you have to prepare something if the situation and the condition do not match your expectation, no matter how good your preparation is.
For example, if you are about to meet someone for the first time in dating or doing business, these actions below may the right examples.
- If you are nervous when you meet him/her, then you will go to the toilet or outside for a while to calm down your mind.
- If he’s/she’s busy with his/her smartphone, then you will start a light conversation.
- If he/she talks about something I do not know, then I will be a good listener is better for me.
By applying this technique, you will know what you should do if the situation and the condition do not meet your expectation. Or in the other words, you already have a plan-b or plan-c for the unexpected results.
9. Learn from a small thing to achieve bigger thing
If you live then you will learn, if you want to achieve a bigger thing, then you have to learn from the small thing. For example;
- If you are a speaker at a seminar, then you should start it from a few attendance first, step by step to build your public speaking skills and confidence. Once your skill and confidence gain, then you can start with many audiences.
- If you want to get a six pack body, you need to do sit up 10 times per day in the first week, then in the second week you will increase it to 15 times per day, and it will increase in the future week until you get the result you desire.
10. Be grateful
Some say that; Don’t ever look above but look below, because there are much more unlucky people than you are now. So, be grateful for what you have will increase your confidence because it will get rid off your stress and other negative feelings. These things below may be a good example to be grateful your life:
- Be grateful that you have a healthy piece of eyes that can see this beautiful world, also remember that there are many other people who can’t see the world with their eyes.
- Be grateful that you can eat regularly every day, also remember that so many people outside who can’t eat every day or starve to death.
- Be grateful that you have a home that can protect you from hot and cold and give you comfort on your sleep, also remember that there are so many homeless people outside who sleep with the cold of the night.
Also remember don’t look above, if your friend or neighbor has a luxury car, then you only have an ordinary SUV car, remember that there are many people who don’t have cars out there.
If you can do some points above on how to be confident, I’m sure your confidence will increase and be a better person. But always remember as well, sometime overconfidence will bring you to a disaster 😉.
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